Surviving Family Visits

Sometimes it all sounds so good at first. You decide to have the family out for a visit. Maybe you decided for some reason to go take the kids to see the parents in Florida instead of going to Hawaii and spending time alone.  Are we nuts, your thinking halfway through the trip. Dreaming how that  beach in Hawaii would have been the better choice and keeping the blood inside your mouth while you bite your lip…

Weather it is family visiting your home or you decide to go take the trip to visit them it can be stressful and loaded with anxiety. Aside from being drunk the entire vacation or hiding in the kitchen to keep from the gab fest of pain maybe try some of these tips. 

1. Dont make any expatactions that you cannot see happening. (having some unrealistic fantasy on what you know someone is like)

If you know that every time your brother visits and says something that you find offensive, laugh and brush it off. 

A quick “yea right” or “your so funny” then change the conversation quickly before you decide to do a flying jump kick! 

Holding onto a word or phrase  from someone who is either trying to get your goat or is just rude and will ruin your time, you cannot condemn them for they are ignorantly living in bliss.  So move forward  the ol I’m rubber your glue thing, let it bounce and move on…

2. If  you know spending every second together will be an issue insist on a hotel. 

It is better to right away before the visit have this done.

Though it may be hard to actually say it.

Tell the person how lovely the bed and breakfast is and why it is a great idea. Tell them it is a space issue if you have a small place, honesty on some part is a good thing here.

Plan it out if needed. Look for the best deal for the Grandparents or offer to pay half for a gift.  

Even if  you make the attempt and it is uncomfortable conversation, the benefits later will be the reward and the person will have gotten over it by the time of the visit.

3. Plan out things to do. 

If there are grumbles, smile and say “OK this is the plan we will pick you up from the hotel at ____”. Even on the tightest of budgets you can find many “free” things to do.  Picnic in the park where the kiddos can burn off energy. ( you can rent a pavilion usually if needed).  Day of swimming at the pool if not yours than the local one.  Old family movies are fun if everyone is into it and don’t pull an all night-er on this one, please I can only see slides of  trips so much before I fall asleep. Tourist traps. Remember the company is a tourist too.

You don’t want them to see just your living room and backyard, get them out and about.  Make a daily plan to do something! If your the tourist then do it, if they don’t want to come with OK, fine just make sure you got the rental car and go do it without them.

4. Know that it will come to an end and focus on the positive.

Think of the positive and don’t let negative creep in.  Don’t obsess on the house and the little things. Spend time with the family and build memories this is what will keep you going. Sit and relax.  Dinner does not have to be 6 courses. Do the dishes later. Enjoy the time and take pictures along the way.

5. Send a note to say thanks for coming out to visit.

You can even use one of the pictures as a post card.  Letting them know you had fun (even if you had to drink alone in the basement every day).

I am not sure if we picked out our families in which we were born into or if karma is biting you back for a past life of depravity.  Whatever it is, this is the family we are with.  So take it or leave it. If you choose to take it then make it the best time, not only for them but for you. Just try not to sweat the small stuff and hold onto it. That is the hardest thing to do. knowing that is the 1st step to doing it. So keep that mental mantra going in your mind as you pass the potatoes…

Momma Says: I Love this quote- The family – that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to. ~Dodie Smith

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